Thursday, October 15, 2009

Living Statues

A lot has been said in the past about living statues. I hate them, not all of them. I have a healthy regard for anyone who can stand perfectly still for an extended period of time.

But there is one living "statue" in Perth which irks me. She can usually be found standing on a box painted silver in the Murray Street mall. Now I would like to take her to task on her "statue" skills

When I were a lad, "living statues" were to be amazed at for their ability to stand completely still. People focus mesmerised for 10-15 minutes trying to spot any slight movements. Not seeing any movement was worthy of a couple of bucks.

This one, on the other hand, feels that moving very slowly is a suitable alternative ... IT ISN'T

Then there are the tactics, she focusses on the kiddies, encouraging them over with a slow, deliberate finger movement (if I were the kids, I would reciprocate with an entirely different finger gesture). Then sprinkles some glitter in their hands and smiles slowly. That's it ... and people run up and pay for this shit?

So, if you want to make money in this manner, here is the basic receipe:
  1. Paint yourself silver all over
  2. Put on a silver suit and some silver wings
  3. Fill a little silver bag with glitter
  4. Stand on a silver box with a silver money receptacle
  5. Move around slowly, blink often (but slowly)
  6. Get money from gullible tourists
Maybe there is hope for us all when talentless bint like that can make a crust by doing nothing special but making a twat of herself in front of total strangers.

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